Pushing it

I am struggling to get the motivation to work hard and really push the pace right now. I am not entirely sure why that is, but I am really having a serious struggle-fest. It has been on and off, pretty much since ... ha... since Boston training last Spring, and somehow I managed to run two marathons in 2017 despite feeling so-so on training. And now, I am paying for that I think.

So I guess let's talk about it. Because I definitely need to get all of those "less than awesome" feelings out in the open so that I can feel a little bit better about them. Or at least feel like I have gotten them off of my chest.

I went for a run on Wednesday. My workout Wednesday for this week was 7 total miles with 2x2 miles at 10K pace. For this section, my 10K pace was supposed to be around 7:00. When I started running at lunch, the first mile was ok. I was easing my way into the pace. And when I started my work, it was immediately hard. I was hanging around 7:15 pace and it was feeling BAD. I am not sure if it was feeling bad or if I mentally was just OUT. (Let's be real, I am thinking it is definitely more the mental side of this.)

And so just over a mile in (7:05 pace), I stopped. I text a few running friends. And I said I do not want to do this. I believe there was one specific text that seemed particularly tear filled (although I was not really crying.) It read "I don't I don't I don't." And I didn't. I pulled myself together and finished the mileage, but did zero of the workout miles after that.

Since then, I have logged the mileage I am supposed to log. The things on my schedule. I have talked to my coach TWICE. And I have formulated a going forward plan. I am totally good with running. I am just not too great with the "pushing it" part right now. I am just not super motivated to do that. So Jen and I have agreed that everything (at least for next week) is going to be effort based. I still have workouts on my schedule, but no paces, just efforts. Tomorrow I have 14 miles on the schedule and I am not worried about it. Which is good.

We will see how I feel after another week of base-like mileage. I have some time, I can really tune things up quickly (I hope!) if I decide to run fast this spring. My base is going to be pretty deep, I think. So I am just going to leave things as they are for now and just keep running.


  1. Make it fun. Let it be fun. Just run.

    1. I know. And I admire you SO MUCH for your ability to do that. I struggle without a goal that makes me excited.


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