Frankness and Valentines.

My break is still happening. I did run on Sunday, but I have not run since. It is very interesting because I am very back and forth to determine if I want to take a real break or not. I feel like if I am waffling at all, then I need that break, right? I think that one of the biggest parts about this that I am struggling with is the fact that one of the biggest reasons that I am afraid to not run is because I am afraid of not having that activity and not having 100% control over my diet.

Ok, so let's be real frank. I am scared of gaining weight. It is really hard to admit this because I thought I was ok. But I guess maybe I was ok because I was able to live the life that I wanted to live and enjoy myself and be comfortable in my own skin WHEN I was running. And I don't know how to interpret that other than the fact that I definitely still have hang-ups about food, even though I probably would not be freshly diagnosed with an eating disorder. Probably just disordered eating. I had a friend call that out this week, and I wanted to be offended a little bit, but I just couldn't because it was 100% accurate.

I definitely am grateful right now for my friends who call me out on my crap. There are two friends in particular that I am thinking of at this moment. If either of them read this (and I know one will!) you know who you are, and thank you.

I am slowly putting some thoughts into it. I am slowly coming around with running and slowly starting to feel better. I have definitely taken some time off, I am definitely enjoying the sleeping in the mornings. I might have needed some sleep. And the sleep is definitely helping me to feel better, more confident and more ready to get back into running again. I am not there yet, but I am slowly coming around.

So instead, since I am not running, let's take a look at some Valentine's Day stuff.
My littlest Valentine at her class party. I just love her little heart. It is physically tiny and figuratively gigantic. This little girl is so sensitive and loving. I am so proud to be her mom.
J and Addie got me a beautiful Valentine gift. Pictures, bibs and other stuff from both the Boston Marathon and my marathon where I qualified for Boston as well. It definitely helps my level of motivation and my desire to get back out there.

Did you get a Valentine from your significant other? How is your running/training going?

Comments

  1. I'm going to pester you to do Whole30 until you do it. So just do it. I'll do it with you. Maybe. Probably. Yeah.

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