Revisiting the Pain - Week 2

Admittedly, it is now nearly a week since I wrote that last sad post, maybe a week tomorrow? I cannot remember the specifics right now. Regardless, not a whole lot has changed since then. I am still feeling pretty defeated about most things. I do not necessarily feel as "in shape" as I want to be as I tackle double digit mileage. I am down about some changes I have made in my personal life. I am feeling generally unfulfilled. I am struggling daily with the motivation to go for a run, I am even struggling with the motivation to move out of my bed on some of the lower days.

Yes, these things are obviously a problem, yes, I know. And that is why I am making an effort, no matter how small, so talk about them here. Write about them. Talk to my therapist weekly. I am making all of the effort that I can in all of the right places, but honestly, the switch just has not flipped yet.

I spend every single day laying things out on the table, laying all of my feelings out to the world, and I just have not yet gotten the answers that I am desperately craving. I know that finding "all" of the answers will be difficult, but I am still seeking them. I am still constantly on the lookout for any and all answers that I may be greeted with.

In therapy, I am working very hard to try and come up with real solutions for the struggles that I am having internally. Every week, I make some progress, and today was no exception. I always feel better when I leave there, and I spend the next week always writing down all of the things that I have realized when I was running or thinking or whatever. I don't want to forget about what I want to talk about and miss anything that could be important.

I am certainly pleased with that...


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