Endure, You've Got To

Do you have someone in your life who can say things to you that just makes you feel like you want to be a better person? It is unlikely that this person straight up tells you that you are doing anything wrong, but they will sit next to you and guide you through the stubborn self that you are (and if you're a runner/athlete, like me, I'll put money on you being stubborn!) without ever telling you that they are even trying to guide you!

I posted the following on twitter last night.
I am absolutely struggling with this personally. My person has agreed that I am selfish. I am aware. There are things that are mine that I don't want anyone or anything to interfere with, regardless of the situation. It is one of those things where I might do something to make a point. My person thinks pregnant running might have been one of those things. I honestly don't know that I agree or disagree with that assessment. I truthfully feel like I was listening to my body, slowing down. Stopping the Toledo race. Lessening my distances, adding long walks instead of long runs.

By that, I mean I was doing all of the things that I thought I needed to do to maintain a healthy and safe pregnancy. Obviously some folks have a differing opinion. My person is one of those people. Its very difficult to hear that from someone, especially someone who makes you want to be a better person.

I need to get beyond that. It is over and done. I fell. I got hurt, kind of badly even. I have had my surgery, I am healing. It is all I can do as of right now. The elbow, which is the big injury, is healing. I deal with some smaller things still.
You can see there that the ankle I rolled almost three weeks ago still has a lump on the side of it. And it is tender to the touch as well, but it is fine to walk on. So I just deal with it. What else can I do? I absolutely feel terrible that it happened in the first place.

I want to be a good person. I want to get stronger and become more selfless. But I think I need to move forward from this setback and stop feeling so guilty. I found this tag on my pillow that I took from the hospital. It was a good reminder today when I was feeling guilty/overwhelmed.


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