Tapering Stinks

I am learning what taper is all about.  In some ways, I just cannot force my body to go any more, to run any further.  I am tired.  My legs just ache.  I am starting to get a small pain in my right foot (the same one that was hurt previously).  I am suffering from trying to stay up at night and spend time with my husband, and getting up super early in the morning and therefore not getting enough sleep.  I am just tired.  I want to keep running.  But I know now that if I want to get through this race, I can't. 

And I feel guilty.  I feel guilty that I am short 8 miles this week from what my schedule says.  I am feeling guilty that I only ran 3 days instead of 5 this week.  I feel guilty that when Leah B asked me how my physique was feeling yesterday compared to when I was lifting so heavy all the time and my response was soft.  She was surprised at that, saying that she normally feels like a brick wall when she is doing a lot of running.  For me, I know this is 100% diet related.  I have been lax.  Not so lax that I have gained weight (I am down about 3 lbs), but just eating higher carb meals, drinking more beer, living my life more the way that I want to live it than I was then.

I know that despite the fact that I really miss training and eating and lifting competition style, I am much easier to live with as an endurance athlete.  That is because I still spend time goofing off and enjoying myself through food and drink as an endurance athlete. 

My friend/training partner Jes told me to warn J in advance that I might be moody or emotional during taper.  I think I am a little but mostly just feeling sad that it is almost over.  I will have spent hours and hours and hours and hours training, and only hours running the race.  And then, when its over, I get to start all over again!  But it is nice to know that it won't be from scratch this time.  I know that my body is capable of the race. 

I just want to be able to continue to perform the way that I am now and continue get stronger, run faster, run further.  It is going to take time, and I need to get through these next two weeks and the race.  After the race I can start formulating my next plan of attack.  I need to keep reminding myself of this.

I decided to skip out on speedwork yesterday.  I am not sure what I was thinking when I started to come up with it being a good idea in my head.  I am two weeks out from my first marathon.  I have never done speedwork before outside of 10 HIIT sprints once per week when I was in competition mode.  So once this is over.  SPEED. :)

Comments

  1. Marathon training definitely starts to weigh on me mentally and physically too. My first one was harder than my current one, but even this time I hit a mental sticky point. Hang in there and good luck! Don't be too hard on yourself, we all end up editing our training plans as it goes on.

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  2. How funny that we both felt "soft" today. I have a feeling a lot of ladies are feeling that way as the warm weather sets in. You're running a marathon though, so clearly you are a beast (the good kind)! Best of luck during your taper and strong positive thoughts to you for you race!

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