Rest Day Guilt?

I know that I shouldn't feel guilty about taking a rest day.  I mean, I work REALLY hard.  And yesterday on top of my regular run I took a spin class.  And I have a run tomorrow as usual.  But I am still feeling a little bit buried in guilt that I didn't drag my rear end out of bed this morning when the alarm went off.  I got up and went to the bathroom as usual, but then climbed back underneath the warm covers.

The worst of it is, I couldn't fall back to sleep.  I was awake and just stuck with it.  And that was terrible.  Sometimes I count backward from 1000 when I can't sleep.  No idea why, it is just one of those things that I started to do that started to stick with me. I was down to 500-something before I got distracted enough to stop counting.  I finally think I fell asleep (or at least the last time I remember looking at the clock) around 5:45.  My alarm went off again at 6.

What a waste. 

So yeah, I didn't get sleep AND I didn't get a workout in.  I feel pretty darn lame about that.

I have been REALLY snacky lately.  I might have to do with all of the extra cardio I have been doing, but at the same time, I am hating it, and I am not really sure how to get control over it.  When I have been conscious about snacking, I try and make a smart choice, but it has been WAY too often and WAY too out of control.  So I think the snacking definitely has created a little bit more of the guilt and anxiety that I am having today. 

I have to figure it out, and I am not sure yet how to do it.  I mean, like I said, I am trying to mak conscious decision.  I am making decisions, but I am apparently making the wrong ones.  I am not out of control (in a literal sense), because I am fully aware that I am snacking.  I just cannot figure out how to make it stop.

I had lunch today with a friend that I haven't seen since before my wedding.  She and I talked within the week before the wedding and she was planning on coming and was excited about it.  She was looking forward to being a grown up instead of just a single mom for a weekend and seeing a lot of people that she does not spend as much time with now as she used to. 

She did not come to the wedding.  She did not call me or text me or anything, she just was not there.  At the time I didn't really think anything of it because everything was so busy, you know?  You do not really have time to react to things then.  But I admit, later I was a little upset about it. 

She was having some family tough stuff going on that she didn't want to talk about over a text or right before I was getting married.  And this stuff has pretty much been continuous ever since.  She is back in school now (she is working on her nursing degree) and so is her daughter, so she finally had time to meet up for lunch. 

I don't want to go into details, but suffice to say, she had a very legitimate reason to miss the wedding.  It was really wonderful to see her, and it honestly probably could not have come at a better time.

Hopefully now we'll be better about seeing each other.

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