Emily: Attempting to find BALANCE in a post-contest world

I would say the title of that entry almost says it all.  I am still struggling with trying to find the right thing for me now that I am no longer competing.  My diet is not bad, but its a little screwy.  By that I mean, it is not back to as casual as it was pre-thoughts of competing, and its not as rigorous as it was while I was working solidly toward that goal.  I am noticing a difference  around my hips/love handles for sure.  Not that anything is not fitting, its just much softer than it had been.  So I am a little upset about that.

I am trying to work on my 101 goals to get all references to competing out of there.  I have not had too much success so far.  All I have done is decided I am going to run some fast 5Ks.  But there are still two or something other things that I need to change on there.  I have no idea what to do.

I was looking at the lululemon goal setting worksheet yesterday.  I found it on their site.  I am a huge lulu fan, and figured maybe that would help me figure some things out.  But no, it honestly made me feel a little bit more confused.  They have everything laid out really well, so it wasn't that.  It was trying to think of a 10 year "vision".  I was tweeting with lulu yesterday and they told me to think of what life would be like with no limitations, and that would help with my vision.  And the truth is, I don't know.  You would think by 28 I would have this stuff figured out, at least a little bit! 

Things I want (someday?):
1. to be a personal trainer
2. to have a kid or two
3. to go to europe
4. to be able to spend every day doing something i love to do (i don't know what this means yet)
5. tobe consistently comfortable in my own skin
6. to be a great wife/mother

See?  The one thing that I know about goal setting is that it is supposed to be "concrete", "measurable".  Becoming a PT could be that, but that's it.  The other things are so...  subjective. 

I am still working out a lot.  Like 5-6 days per week of cardio and the same of lifting.  That is not balance is it?  Do I like it, yes, I LOVE it.  But I should not feel guilty when I miss a workout.  I work out a TON!  And yet, I do feel guilty.  Today I feel guilty after the dog situation and not being able to go this morning.  Its dumb. 

So yes, I think I still have a lot of work to do to get it figured out.


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