Confessions… and a change?

This morning was a HIIT morning.  As you know, HIIT days are not my favorite, because I always only have worked out for a half hour.  And that is it.  And despite the fact that I am absolutely DRIPPING in sweat by the time the half hour is over, I still feel like it wasn’t enough.  So that is kind of sucky.  But I am considering taking Teek for a walk this evening, so that might be a little extra, right?

I have my meals COMPLETELY planned for the day, down to the individual gram of protein.  I need to show myself that I am capable of sticking to a plan since yesterday was another eff up.  I don’t really want to talk about it, because even as I was messing up I was aware of the fact that I was doing it.  I am not sure what the trigger was that caused it.

I have a quick confession. 

I know this will sound silly but I am afraid that my off plan eating might resemble secret eating.  I only eat when J is not around.  When he is there I eat all of my good planned foods (including casein pudding for dessert when he is having a jello pudding cup!)  But last night (as an example) he goes down the basement to play a video game, leaving me a lone to do an hour or so of studying, and I open up the can where I have stored my goodies and eat a black and white brownie.  Delicious, high in protein, well within my maintenance macros, but I am trying to get in shape for a competition! 

Here is my big news…  I am thinking that I am going to stick with bikini for this comp, but then make a move to figure competition if I choose to do any more.  I think that is going to be more for me.


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