Blogger was down this morning. That stressed me out because I wanted to WRITE! Sometimes I just want to do that, and it is stressful when the outlet is unavailable to me for whatever reason, you know?

I have been feeling pretty edgy lately. I think it is the dieting. I hate that, to be honest. I hate that I finish my lunch and I feel like I could eat another lunch. Especially if it was a lunch of solid carbs. :-) That feeling goes away pretty quickly and then I am ok, but for that 10 minutes right after I take my last bite, all I can think about is my NEXT bite. Then that passes and I get myself another gigantic cup of water and I feel better.

But let's just say that my diet and fitness are pretty much all I think about these days. Not necessarily the competition at this point, but everything involved with getting there. Mostly my meals and my muscles. Also - what I am going to wear while I am eating those meals and building that muscle. Writing that feels weird to me. I am beginning to feel like I am growing a little bit vain as I am working through this. I stand in front of the mirror and examine my abs for extended period of time. I caught myself doing that in the gym today. I was changing from my workout stuff back into my work clothes and caught myself running my hands over my stomach while watching myself in the mirror. Wow Em, that is pretty vain of you.

Leah B and I are taking a trip up to the outlets next weekend while J is out of town. I am already scouring Nike and Under Armour trying to think about what different things I might need or want when we are up there that I should look for. On my list - regular sneakers for everyday wear, sports bras, booty shorts for heavy leg days, a gym bag, moisture wicking tops, holy hell there are a lot of things that I would allow myself to purchase if the price is right. I just LIVE in my workout clothes lately. And I think I would even MORE if I had more of them that didn't look like crap.

I think it is important to have great clothes for working out in. It's motivating in itself. At least, I think so. Plus, I am REALLY leaning out (its getting noticable now) and everything is starting to be a little bit baggy and stuff. That makes it more difficult to watch my form in the mirror (yep - I am vain then too! But then I need to be to make sure I am doing it right!) So I need to be able to see myself - all of myself in the mirror.

Today was one of those days where I wished I had someone working out with me. Not just to spot me either, although that would certainly help. I just had kind of a lonely day. I know that whenever I had worked out with Katie in the past I get tired of dicking around at the gym, because she gets chatty sometimes, but today was kind of an exception. I want to be able to share all that I am learning with someone, show off my strength a little, and have a spotter, plus some company. I do get lonely sometimes after all....


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