I very nearly had a panic attack this morning. And then I asked the question that I needed to ask. I got the balls to do it. I asked Jason if we were going to break up if he moves away. He told me that he did care about me too much for that to be a reason to break up. Then he added a teasing bit saying, "it's not like there are any girls in Lafayette anyway." Ass. But now I feel better.

I needed to hear it and I needed to know that he felt the same way that I did so I could take a deep breath and realize that everything was going to be ok.

I mean, it still sucks a lot that he might be moving, but to know that I am not get dumped as a result helps a lot.

I guess we'll see what happens. He should be finding out pretty soon what is going on with the job. I want him to get it because I know it will be good for his career. I don't want him to get it because it means he'll be leaving me for at least a year. And that sucks.

So I am settled in with my new team. I am sitting on the other side of the office now, and I have my desk all arranged the way that I want it. I have been pretty busy all day, and I went and had lunch with the two women that I will be working with more often than any others. Things have been good for day one on the team. Its quiet, but for the first time, this white noise machine seems to be really nice. It is humming right above my head, and I kind of like it. It seems to keep my head in the game where it needs to be.

I am drinking less coffee because I have managed to switch to decaf tea in the afternoon. I just like to drink hot things as it is way too cold in here. It is so cold that when I made my first cup of tea, my brain thought "I should dump this on myself, it would feel good." What the heck kind of person thinks that?

Well, I should work solidly for the last hour and a half-ish of the day. So, signing out.


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