I am making a HUGE change to my life. I am going to break a habit that I have had since I was a little girl. It has been rather self-destructive for me, as it keeps my confidence from being what it should. Its disgusting, but... I pick scabs. Because I have always done this, my arms and legs are full of scars. So today is day 1. Neosporin and telling myself not to do it (as well as Mederma for the ones that I already have) are going to be key products for me.

I really want to stop this. I am goingto defeat this once and for all!

Crap. I was just sitting over in someone else's cube, and I ripped one off while we were talking. Do over. Starting fresh. I can DO THIS!

I think the meeting that I had with Lisa (NEW Lisa, not the one I have talked about before a lot, but Lisa on my NEW team) was really productive this morning. She taught me a lot, plus we got to talk a lot, which was good because we are getting to know each other. If I am going to be working with her a lot more often, it is probably good for the two of us to spend time talking to each other and getting to know each other. It makes working together a lot easier!

Jason and I are doing well. I am getting to the freak out point about whether or not he is going to be moving to Indiana as it is looking more and more likely every single day, which is enough to CRUSH me. He says he will not forget about me, and also that we'll go to Europe on vacation if he does move, but that does not completely shake my worry. It still stresses me out on the day-to-day stuff that I sometimes feel like I need him for. For instance, just getting a hug from him. That is one of those things that you just NEED when you are having a bad day. A hug from someone you love.

Speaking of love...

Jason has said that he loves me. Not just in the "I love you" sort of way when we kiss goodbye or something, but in the "well, I love you, isn't that enough?" teasing sort of way. But I will take it. He also has said something along the lines of "I just try and be a good boyfriend, take care of you and stuff, and then you're mean to me." Again, he is teasing, but it cracks me up. And I will take what I can get, as I know it is true!

He makes me insanely happy. And I think he finally might be moving on from all of the drama of his past. I suppose that maybe we might finally be able to be in a REAL relationship. After doing this on and off thing for a year, we might finally be able to just BE. Be together. At least, I feel like that is finally the direction that things are going in. I have wanted it to feel like this for a year now.

Now I just have to cross my fingers that he goes with the flow as well instead of getting scared and freaking out.


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