I am going to try to write a slightly more "real" entry, one with a little bit more substance than the other ones that I have written over the last few days. It really is theraputic for me to get things down on "paper", and so I really should take better care to do it.

The weekend was really good. I am not sure how to say it other than that. I cried briefly in Morgan's room (where I was sleeping) during Bruce and Michelle's party to Bruce. I am not even entirely sure why I was crying. But I was sitting next to him on the bed with tears running down my face. He was reassuring me over and over that J loves me and it is obvious to everyone that he does. I just feel like I need the security of a REAL relationship. I guess I am in one though? I just don't know what it is.

Bruce seems confident that we'll end up together. At least, in the long run. Its the current state of our relationship that I am having a hard time wrapping my head around and understanding. I guess I just have to go with it as is though, and just keep hoping for the best.

I did make my mom's twisties for the party though. They were quite the hit! I was excited to share something that my family loves with Jason's family because they are important to me, and someday I would like them to be a part of my family too.

I started my Christmas shopping already. Mostly just for J at this point. But still, it is good to have taken a step in the right direction as far as getting that stuff done! I always feel more accomplished when I am getting things squared away.

I should add that to my list. Create Christmas gift spreadsheet.

Crap. I was going to register for two sections of the CPA exam so I could cross that off my list, but they only take Visa or Mastercard, which means I cannot do that until the 15th (next Monday, I think) at the earliest. Damn damn damn. I really want to pass 2 sections by the new year. That is my goal. And I would LOVE to be done by next fall. Not sure how likely that is, but I would LOVE it. I am really hoping that after paying all of my bills for the 15th I have enough money leftover to at least get one NTS for 1 exam taken care of.


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