What a strange weekend it was... Instead of spending a ton of time recapping it, since I already have once, I am just going to copy an email I sent to my co-worker, Sarah, with the details. I feel like that will explain a lot.

So, Toledo…

Jason is still on his “just friends” kick. *rolls eyes* which is just obnoxious. The weekend started out weird. He told me what is up with him, and why we had to step back. Apparently he isn’t completely over what happened with Jen, and he apparently was going to propose to her, just 2 weeks before he and I started hanging out again. Now he did tell me that he believed proposing would just be a Band-Aid solution (how could they fight so much if they were getting married?) which tells me that at least he knows in his HEAD that they don’t belong together. Now to get there with his heart…

He openly admitted that he does love me, but he cannot give me “the world” as I would give him because he is still trying to deal with all of this junk. We agreed that the “friends” thing is good for now, but that when he starts to feel better, we owe it to each other to give the relationship another go. Naturally, I cried a little, and actually was a little shocked about that revelation… the whole marriage thing, I mean.

We openly discussed what would happen if he gets this job (he doesn’t know yet), and it came down to the fact that it is supposed to be a “project” so it would be two years at the longest. So not awful. When I brought up a few of my points, like “what would you DO in Lafayette?” His response was “grow corn, watch paint dry…” So obviously he is not totally thrilled with the idea. He said I would be there to visit a lot. I asked him what would happen if we worked and what would happen then, what would I do there? And his response was “become Amish, cook, clean, take care of the babies…” Obviously a joke, but also obviously not something he is completely against (our future, I mean).

Friday night he went and stayed at his uncle’s house, alone. I stayed at my parents (or I guess, my mom’s considering all of the drama with my folks, their separation and not yet divorce) and was up late talking with my mom and hanging out with my sister’s dogs. We used to have one, but we put her down a few years ago. It is nice to have some around again because they are good for hugging when you are sad. It stunk that he wasn’t with me, but we had gone out to dinner and he was tolerant of my sitting close to him and very receptive of our future conversation, despite the fact that he is not “ready”. So I guess I’ll take it.

Saturday he played golf, I had a golf lesson, and then I had the afternoon to myself while he was still at the course. He called me not too long after my lesson to hear how it went and what I was up to, as well as tell me about his morning (he ended up spending $600 to get new tires on his car, and was not happy about it!) Now seriously, do you call your “friend” to give her life updates when you last saw her at 9 pm the night before? Grrr… So I went to the bookstore, did a swimming pool workout with my mom and aunt (it was tough, and they do it every single day!), and fell asleep for a while.

Jason’s aunt and uncle were have a party that night, and he invited me to come along. He played cornhole and drank beer with the guys, while I drank beer and talked to the girls. Now, I just fit in with this family. It has been openly discussed that although Bruce and Michelle have met other girlfriends of Jason’s (and his ex-wife) that I am the only one that they feel really comfortable around, and that I am comfortable around them. There was a LOT of dialogue between me and Bruce and Michelle about us and what I should do and where I should go from here. Bruce said that he obviously does love me, because he keeps bringing me around. Michelle talked a lot about how “Nickles men” start to get scared when things get too comfortable, and they need a little something to shake things up, so they get scared and run every time for the first year. They were both very much in agreement that this is supposed to work out and that I am perfect for him, so I need to be patient. Bruce is Jason’s closest friend/relative, so him saying that meant a WHOLE lot to me.

Just wanted to give you an update, since it was such an overwhelming weekend…

Sigh...

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