I hate life sometimes. Kind of a lot. I am busy trying to deal with things in my life that have been feeling completely out of control.

Meaning, me.

I am completely out of control. I hate the fact that I am completely nutso, and that I have very little control over my reactions to things, and that I tend to get weird and emotional and panicked at every single little thing. I hate myself for being like that. I hate the fact that I "forget" (and basically just choose to skip) taking my medicine, because I know that it is no help to me or anything like that. I know that it is just going to hurt me and make me worse in the long run.

I hate that the one thing that I feel like I need to help keep me stable, help keep me balanced is J, and that I need to be stable and balanced to keep him.

I hate circles. I hate things that are round.

I love rubber bands. They help.


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