I can't believe it has been so long since I last wrote in here. Things have been crazy since November. I think I had just started seeing Jason at that point. I might have even been whining about Chris and what was going on there.

Since then, I have fallen head over heels in love with Jason. He is a very old friend from high school, that I started to spend time with in late October. He was in aggressive pursuit of me, which made me run the other direction. Then we had a ridiculous amount of back and forth involving the two of us and his ex girlfriend Jen. I fucked around with one of my coworkers while we were broken up.

Dan. Dan and I had some really hot sex, and for a while, I thought I might have some feelings for him, but turns out, it was just sex. Great sex. Sex that had me have the sex in the strangest, skeeziest place I have ever had sex. A dirty motel.

He helped me to have fun though, and enjoy myself while I was dealing with some heartbreak. I went on an awesome date at a fancy restaurant with this guy that I had no interest in. He made out with me (and I let him but did not really participate) in the upper level of a super romantic steak restaurant. I hung out with James, this cute guy I have known since just before Jason and let him grope me and stuff, but wouldn't let him kiss me.

So I distracted myself for a while until Jason realized that Jen was fucking him over, again. It took close to three months, with one brief and magical encounter in the middle.

That magical encounter needs a description and a story all its own, I think.

So we broke up at the end of January. He felt like he had to get everything with Jen figured out before he could devote himself to me. A month later, they were done. So late February. They were trying to do the friend thing, and in mid March, he calls and asks me out. I hesitated for a long time, because I just was not sure that I could do it again. I was not sure that I was willing to go there, again, after all we had been through and I had tried to get over.

I eventually agreed to go though, and he took me out for a nice dinner. We went to BJs Brewhouse (for the first time), and we talked A LOT. There was a lot of catching up to do after two months of being "off". He was extremely supportive, winking at me from across the table, holding my hand when I was talking about my dad and what was going on there, etc. When we went back to his house to watch a movie, we couldn't help it. We made out on the couch, touching gentley for the entire movie. When it was over, I asked him to take me to bed.

We made love (it was definitely love making) and talked about the future, dreamed of it together, etc. He projected this huge fantasy onto me, and I trusted that it was the truth.

He, even now, insists that it was the truth. But after all of that, he said he just wanted to be friends. It was heartbreaking. I told him I didn't want to be his friend, I loved him and I always would. So eff him and I wanted him out of my life.

That lasted all of two weeks until he was texting me again and stuff.

More another time...


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