I am incredibly stressed out right now. I can not figure out how to do things in this stupid system. I hate taxes today. Today all of this stuff is the worst stuff ever. It has been the most difficult return I have ever done because it has been so stressful for me for months now. I cannot believe the way that I am feeling, and that I have been doing this stupid thing for as long as I have been! Ugh! I haven't been so frustrated over a return since last January. And interesting fact about that... I was working with the same reviewer on that one, who was stressing me out then about that return, and she is doing it again on this one!

It is a lot the fact that she is not here all of the time and so things can get pushed off and held up as a result of that. I don't want to get too upset over it, because someday I might need to be working a flexible schedule like that, but for now, it honestly makes my job a little bit more difficult. When she isn't here working on stuff, sometimes I can get stuck for days (occasionally even weeks!) at a time. It is extremely stressful to me, and I really just want to sign off on this client permanently.

I just want it to be done. I am so frustrated with the whole thing. It has made me feel dumb over and over for the last several months. I feel like I have dedicated my whole life to this stupid thing. I feel like I can't do anything right on this, which makes me feel like "no wonder I can't pass my stupid exam" and it makes me cry. Then of course, I stress Jason out a little, I think, which is never good because he reacts poorly (and sometimes angrily) to my stress and crying.

I want to have a normal life. I am fairly certain that I will never be fortunate enough to have one of those. Between the life I have chosen with my work, as well as my medication/doctor visits, etc, I doubt my life will ever be completely normal, even when things try to calm down.


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